


All I see is how I could change it all

by BarksOfTheHeart



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Also robotics is so cool and the kids will make really cool things, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Smut, F/F, Flora is just so happy she gets two of her favorite people in the same room now, Fluff, Slow Burn, multi-chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:54:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29189607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarksOfTheHeart/pseuds/BarksOfTheHeart
Summary: But, really, what Jamie means to ask is...“Didn’t you feel...stuck?”And it’s the: “Well, there are worse places to be stuck, believe me,” response that clicks. It’s the sad smile that follows that finally clicks.She’s looked at America before. It’s massive. With how big that country is, she reckons something traumatic must have happened to Dani that made it suffocating and small. So small, even, she now understands why she talks about far distances and big cities the way she does––no distance was far enough and no space was big enough to keep her from retreating into herself. So small, even, that only two bags and a suitcase were enough to pack her life away. So small, even, that London feels like an open field to her in comparison. So small, even, that she couldn’t think, and had to do instead.Perhaps this is the freest she’s felt in a long time––or perhaps she never had.or: Jamie is an Engineer, still into gardening, but also robotics; and Dani is trying to not make a fool of herself when she accidentally proposes to her school to start a new program--and Jamie helps her.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 11
Kudos: 39





	1. Come take my pulse (the pace is on a runaway train)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie approaches as quietly as she can to the woman in front of her. She saw her fly out the door and into the nearest bush, and that woman is now sobbing. Sobbing heavily. And it’s really strange for her to see this, because usually schools are associated with joy, smiles, laughter. If there is any crying, it's the students that do it. Not the teachers––never the teachers. And this woman is definitely a teacher in distress.
> 
> When she thinks she’s close, but also at a safe distance, she decides to do something she never does. She decides to make an effort for this person. “You alright?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've had this idea in my head, I keep seeing Jamie as an Engineer. Something around electrical and robotics--meticulous and patient work like Jamie puts to her plants. And Dani--Dani who deserves so much, snd she wants to do her best for her kids. Help at least one of them.

“This would be for Flora’s classroom…” The way he says this. The earnest statement and expectant gaze. Waiting for her response. It dawns on Jamie that he is not kidding.

“Henry! Ten years old? You see how that’s mad?” And it’s not exactly, because in the back of her head, she wished she had this that long ago. Though, the thought of her interacting with a bunch of kids is already making her head hurt. More than one like Flora would be entirely too much.

“On the contrary, I’d say the sooner you start the better.” _Yes, but…_

“I’m not good with kids,” she blurts out. Children often terrify her, although Henry’s honestly are the exception. Those kids have suffered more than most could handle in their lifetime already. Nothing can fix that. She sees that.

“You are incredible,” and just as Jamie is opening her mouth, “and I will not sit and argue with you. Flora and Miles love you.” Again, they're the exception. She takes a deep exasperated breath. She also does not want to argue either––there is hardly a time she has been able to get through his stubbornness. “Look, you don’t have to do anything with them. The teacher will be conducting the projects. You’ll help _her_ ,” he tries to read her, see if he’s getting through. “You will support her lessons, help her build them and whatever she needs for them.” He then stands up from his desk and starts pacing around the room. Jamie can tell he _really_ is trying to convince her. “I’m telling you, Jamie, she has such a good plan for what she’d like to do and accomplish at the school. It’s so refreshing.”

Honestly, she also doesn’t want to argue with Henry Wingrave, because, deep-down, she knows this is a great cause. An important and selfless cause to provide kids the opportunity to explore innovative thinking. Satisfy their natural curiosity. Because almost everything young children do involves figuring out the world around them. It’s just that she’s not sure she is the right person for it.

“Why don’t you have Owen do this? He’s the professor.” Owen has worked with kids in the past. A tad older, but he does it with such ease. He somehow is able to combine his two passions swiftly into the same space. All the analogies, thinking processes, careful craft––it makes sense. Jamie once sat in one of his classes, and was impressed––but not surprised––to find out he has written his own programming cookbook and assigns it to the class. It’s effective teaching, really.

“He’s not what I’m looking for. I need _your_ robotics experience. The kids will learn better with something more tangible,” he returns to his desk and grabs one of the many mini-computers he has laying around there, flips it around a couple times before exclaiming “and _you_ can help them build something great!” And each word is accentuated with the object in his hand, hitting the desk each time.

Henry has always been clumsy around electronics. He’s brilliant, but he doesn’t take the necessary precautions around them or for them. Who knows how long that piece has been collecting dust when it could have been transformed into a nice Roomba that can follow him around the room. She blinks and turns her focus to him. “You said I didn’t have to do anything with them.”

“Did you know Flora inspired her?” Henry puts the object down and clasps his hands together, ignoring Jamie’s remark. She’s already forgotten about it, because she’s perplexed by what Henry just said. “Flora is interested, Jamie.” It might be the way he says it, welling up with a lopsided smile. Or it might be the revelation itself; Flora has found something to ground her. And she now understands why he’s so insistent. Jamie huffs, mimicking Henry’s smile.

“How come you’ve never told me about this?”

“She’s never told me. She told Miss Clayton.” He says this, still smiling, but a bit somber. So she holds one of his hands and squeezes it. His smile grows and a tear flows.

“There is something about her, you know? An effervescent force and determination there. No one has been able to connect with Flora the way that teacher has. Not even me. And I’d love for Flora to get as much as she needs from her.” He looks at Jamie with so much hope. And she understands. Flora walks through life with two feet, although they’re both never in the same world. And she’s so sweet, and caring, and attentive, but always apprehensive. If someone is helping her be present, they must be special. He now squeezes Jamie’s hand to get her attention. “Jamie, with you...I believe you’ll do wonderful things.” He lets go of her hand, so he can adjust his face towards her. Fixated on her. Anxiously waiting for a response. It’s as if he really needs this––and maybe he does.

There is also something about Henry that Jamie would like to understand someday. It’d probably be an inappropriate question to ask. Where does his guilt come from? She can sense it, because she carries her own close to her heart. He has had Flora and Miles for a couple of years, and he has tried his hardest with them. He does everything in his power to give them the best care and attention, and Jamie thinks he’s doing a fantastic job. He’s by himself, but he has the means, and he’s there. But there are some things that Jamie wonders about, things he holds on to very deeply. Like this opportunity with Flora. It’s not only because he cares, but there’s something else plaguing him. Someday she’ll understand, but today Jamie will agree to ease the weight on his shoulders.

“Fine,” Jamie starts and Henry’s eyes light up, and she decides she can do this now, “but if I find out you just want to use me as a wingwoman, I’ll come for you, Wingrave.” Yes, it was the right time, because Henry is laughing audibly as he extends his hand for Jamie to shake.

“I could never...she’s American.”

\--

“What did you say, sir?” She can’t believe her ears.

“The STEM program. You’ll get a trial run this term with your class. And if the program proves to be effective––which I know it will––the school will adopt it and adapt it all throughout!” Mr. Wingrave eagerly states and jumps––as much as he can constricted by a tiny desk.

They’re in Dani’s classroom. Mr. Wingrave and the school’s Principal, Hannah Grose. He had called her during the weekend to set up an appointment early in the morning at the school. Said he had very exciting news to share. But she wasn’t expecting this. When she talked about her idea, she never imagined it would materialize this soon. She didn’t even think the man in front of her had listened to her, let alone would be someone who could make it happen.

She should have known though, when she started talking to him about Flora and her recent discovery for her fixation on taking things apart...and subsequently her desire to put them back together. How she’d been showing this to the other kids in her class. How she’d been able to engage with kids she’d never spoken to so freely and easily. How these kids had been responding to these small discussions that stemmed from picking each part of the classroom they could apart. How Dani has started to allot more and more time during her classes to explore this.

Flora had been the driving force behind this desire to do better for her kids. She did this back home in Iowa. She taught under a STEM program very briefly introducing various children to early problem-solving skills development. Kids who wouldn’t usually thrive, thrived. Everyone had an opportunity to do so, and it was so gratifying to be able to help provide that atmosphere for everyone. And just as she was starting to realize she had found her calling, she had to leave it behind. She dreaded leaving it. Especially because she could not teach in England--at least not immediately, but she had to leave. And then she found a school, or rather a person that believed enough in her to help her. And, at first, she liked it, but also she saw the lack of engagement from most of her colleagues at the school. They needed to stand out, and Dani’s eyes lit up when she saw Flora. And, for a moment, she suspended her disbelief and discussed this with Flora’s guardian, Mr. Wingrave. A man who happens to have taken her words to heart and has gotten her a grant and the whole school behind her to trial-run this model just before the semester started.

“My colleague, Jamie, will help you with engineering and anything you need for your projects.” He takes her out of her trance, and must have sensed some tension in her stance, because he stands up to approach her. “No worries, Jamie is fantastic to work with. That one’s a robotics genius. Hard to keep up with sometimes––but can definitely be a valuable source of knowledge, I assure you.” Dani can feel herself breathing a little heavier than usual, and she has to turn around to hide what she knows are tears pricking at her eyes. The projects, the lesson plans, the materials, what is she supposed to do with what she’s already outlined?

“Dani, dear. I know this comes as a big surprise, so we have delayed the start for your classroom by a couple of days so you can reorganize,” the Principal says approaching and putting a hand on her shoulder, “I believe this is such a big step in the right direction for Bly. And I believe you’ll do it wonderfully,” she finishes softly and so sure. Hannah is the one that advocated for her and helped her come to teach at Bly when she was already lost. When she heard Dani’s tragic escape from America at the restaurant she waited at––she promised Dani things would turn around. And little did she know, she was talking to the Principal of a very prestigious school in town.

First Hannah, then Mr. Wingrave. She was used to feeling miserable in rainy England, feeling the consequences of her unpremeditated getaway. The judgement and disappointment coming from the people she left behind. The anxiety and anticipation of what she knew was waiting for her if she were to return. Anything beat having to face them though. She would take rainy England over that any day. And she had, long enough to comply.

So why, she thinks, is her life turning around so exponentially? How did she get so lucky to have met the right people at the right time? Why is England suddenly not so rainy anymore?

And now, how is she supposed to give back? How is she supposed to do this? She has no idea of what she’s going to do.

She senses it, when her breathing becomes more erratic and her eyesight turns cloudy from the tears she is not able to keep from falling any longer. So she clenches her fists and tries to muster enough strength to announce her dismissal.

“Excuse me a minute?” And she runs out, down the stairs, out the door, looking for a safe haven. Which is easy, as the school is empty––expected for this early in the morning, so, on the first hedge she could prop herself on for support, she let go.

She didn’t bother checking behind her, so she wasn’t counting on someone coming to her direction. Someone who most definitely saw _her_.

\--

Jamie approaches as quietly as she can to the woman in front of her. She saw her fly out the door and into the nearest bush, and that woman is now sobbing. Sobbing heavily. And it’s really strange for her to see this, because usually schools are associated with joy, smiles, laughter. If there is any crying, it's the students that do it. Not the teachers––never the teachers. And this woman is definitely a teacher in distress.

When she thinks she’s close, but also at a safe distance, she decides to do something she never does. She decides to make an effort for this person. “You alright?”

The woman stops abruptly, and Jamie can see and almost _feel_ her whole body tense up. Moving away from her while also standing still. It tugs at Jamie’s heart, to see someone who seems so young cry so honestly and so desperately. Jamie wants to insist, she wants to ease that tension, and she really wants to try. So she puts her bags down and tries again.

“Kids...run you ragged.” It startles the woman, but she still doesn’t move from her spot as she tries to control her sharp breaths.

“Yeah,” she starts with a watery sigh, “parents, actually,” followed by a sniff. “One that believes in me a bit too much.” Jamie doesn’t really know what she stumbled upon, but she can definitely relate to the feeling. The times where she hears all the praise and believes none of it, because that cannot be Jamie. That has never been Jamie. However, somehow, while she does not know what this is about, she’s certain this woman is not like her.

“I’m sure there is a good reason…” And this seems to have done something, because Jamie then hears a deep inhale, sees her head and shoulders come up, considering and preparing her response.

“I talked to this man about _one_ thing I’d change about this school I just started at. Next thing I know, he’s trying to make it a reality,” she blurts, “and key word _trying_ , because I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with this huge commitment now. He’s doing his part, and I’m absolutely clueless. I don’t even know what my part is supposed to be on this, and it was my pitch. So how is that for a reliable asset?” Very, very fast. And very, very American.

Jamie stays silent for a beat or two to process this information. First, to repeat it in her head and make sure she heard each word in the correct order after they incessantly flew out. Second, because she thinks she knows who she’s talking to now.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I just told you that...” The American woman adds, turning her head further away when Jamie tries to approach. She swears she sees more tears well up, possibly from embarrassment, and she doesn’t know what to do exactly––but she wants to stop them. She wants to set a better stage for introducing herself to her new co-worker. She doesn’t try for anyone, but she wants to try for this mortified woman. She would certainly appreciate the same thing.

“It’s okay…” Jamie starts, “People, right?” She looks over and sees a small affirmative nod. “Expectations, impositions, feelings…” She trails off before it turns into shaming people. When she hears a faint “mhm”, she decides she has gotten her point across.

“That’s why I prefer computers. Easy to get along with. And I can control what they do, so they never look at me funny.” She pauses for a brief moment. Briefly thinks about the times people have done just that. “Although, they do exactly what I tell them to do, and if what I tell them to do happens to be shite––they make me look bad. So, I can always just...” And she really should have thought about how to say this, “...you know…” but Jamie then lifts her hand and runs her thumb across her throat mimicking a choking sound and can’t be stopped anymore. She almost regrets it, backtracks, but is then relieved when she receives a silent chuckle on the other end. This encourages her. “So, if it’s people-skills advice you are after, I’d just…” The chuckle is not silent anymore. In fact, it’s an actual laugh “...start there, maybe.” And Jamie smiles proudly now at what she has accomplished; she’s turned the shambles into laughs. And the sound is delightful. So much so that she possibly wants to do that again. “There we are.”

Once the woman stops, she tilts her head up and takes a deep, audible breath, as if to stop new tears from falling. Jamie watches every move until she can finally land on a pair of eyes. Blue like the sky. No...a deeper blue, but before she can pinpoint how deep, “You are Jamie Taylor?”

“Oh no. Has Henry tainted my image already?” She says feigning offense. This confirms this is in fact Miss Clayton in front of her––in the flesh. Nothing like she imagined.

“I…” And the woman looks nervous again. As if she wasn’t expecting Jamie to be...Jamie. She clears her throat before continuing. “From the way Mr. Wingrave was talking about you...I don’t know, I thought…” _Oh._

“That I was a man?” Jamie completes. “And here I thought you were a progressive gal...” It’s always the start of a draining conversation, and she almost feels disappointed until she hears a sharp intake coming from the blonde woman. She looks mortified and Jamie decides to stop her mind from roaming, because she realizes this is just a mere misunderstanding. It’s never about the assumption itself, but what fuels it that bothers Jamie. Disdain. She’s very familiar with it, and this is not that.

“No, it’s not that. Trust me.” Comes out very quickly and Jamie lightly huffs to keep up the act. “I mean, I did think you were a man, but I also thought you were way older.” The woman turns to look at the floor, shutting her eyes and mouthing something that Jamie can only make out as a curse. “He said you’ve taught him a lot of things. So I thought you were his mentor, or something, and...” she pauses once more with a gasp as she catches herself rambling again. Jamie imagines she probably does this a lot. “and I need to stop talking.” Their eyes meet again, and she can see it’s sincere, it really is.

 _Expectations,_ Jamie thinks. She just shrugs in response. To be fair, Jamie also expected someone different. She even thought seriously about setting her up with Henry. That would be weird now. “I think he likes to call that reverse mentoring...I dunno, to elevate us or something,” she huffs and starts scratching her scalp a little at how ridiculous that just sounded. “Look, you’re not the only one. I had a similar impression with how Hen–– _Mr. Wingrave_ described you.” She accentuates Henry’s name to imitate Miss Clayton’s polite accent. A smile spreads across her lips without warning, and the other woman mimics her. Then, the latter jumps a little, realizing something.

“Dani Clayton.” _Dani._ Dani offers her hand to shake, which Jame almost immediately takes. “I’m embarrassed this is how we meet, but I’m glad we did.” And Jamie’s brow furrows. Because all of the sudden, Dani does this thing with her eyes and handshake, firm and strong, almost rehearsed. As if she’s needed to perfect this bit for other people. Jamie regards her. As soon as their hands separate, Dani’s moves to wipe the remnants of her tears away and flashes another shy smile, but her eyes are still somewhere else.

She’ll never admit to this out loud, but if Jamie wasn’t so entranced by her features, she would have never noticed the switch. But now that she has, her mind wanders. And now that she has, Jamie wonders who the people Dani Clayton needs to perform for are, because Jamie already believes she’s just seen a glimpse of what lies underneath it, and Dani must have certainly perceived this. So what is the point of this calculated act?

Jamie has deduced that Dani seems like a person that performs to hide rather than to deceive. There isn’t any bite or maliciousness to the unexpected aloofness. As she states this, there is some uneasiness laced with the way she’s looking at Jamie now, and she almost thinks Dani is reading her mind. However, it’s more likely due to the amount of time they’ve been standing still and silent, which she absolutely lost track of. _Blimey_.

“Well, Dani Clayton,” she starts while clearing her throat and clearing their trance. She pauses to remember something before continuing. “Shall we put our part to make this _one_ thing a reality?” And with a half smile, she grabs onto her bags and starts walking upstairs and to the school, but notices Dani is not following yet. Instead, she feels as if she’s staring.

“I still have no idea what I’m doing.” Jamie turns around, and she’s right. The admission is solemn, but it’s not really admitting defeat as it sounded like before.

“You’re already doing great. This idea you have. You’re doing it for these kids, and they’ll love it.” Jamie exclaims lightheartedly and comes down the stairs to level with Dani, but the latter looks away.

And it really is admirable, what she’s doing. This is a young woman advocating for what she believes is better for her kids––for Flora––and for countless others. The project comes from a place of care rather than a checklist. Dani is already making a difference. “Look, you’re doing great.” She says again a little lower, but Dani just huffs under her breath. _All the praise and believes none of it_ . She doesn’t know Dani Clayton yet, but she knows Dani _should_ believe it. So she stands up a bit more, and puts one hand on the woman’s shoulder, which causes her to look up. That distant look is definitely gone too. And Jamie really wants to know how it happened. What makes the walls go up and down, but she figures––hopes––she’ll learn the answer eventually. “You’re doing great.” It’s said slower, with more conviction. Dani is still but eyes squinting, considering. When a small smile spreads on her face, Jamie knows it’s gone through.

“Thank you.” She says softly and takes a deep breath, lifting Jamie’s hand up and down with it and luring her in. But this time it’s easier to break out.

“Right. Well, back to it, then…” She takes her hand back, her bags, again, and starts walking towards the school. This time, Dani follows her, and she smiles to herself...until she realizes she has no idea where she’s supposed to go and stops to ask but...

“My classroom is this way.” The woman cheerfully says as she passes through unfazed. And Jamie is more than glad to follow her to it...and a part of her also thinks she'd be more than glad to follow her anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and lending some of your time. If you are enthralled as much as I am to explore this--welcome! I'll be updating this _at least_ once a week (fingers crossed)
> 
> Chapter title comes from: Metric - Help I'm Alive
> 
> Fic title comes from one of my favorite songs of all time: Harrison Storm - Change It All


	2. Watch me when you look my way (see me smiling, be my night and day)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But, really, what Jamie means to ask is...
> 
> “Didn’t you feel...stuck?”
> 
> And it’s the: “Well, there are worse places to be stuck, believe me,” response that clicks. It’s the sad smile that follows that finally clicks.
> 
> She’s looked at America before. It’s massive. With how big that country is, she reckons something traumatic must have happened to Dani that made it suffocating and small. So small, even, she now understands why she talks about far distances and big cities the way she does––no distance was far enough and no space was big enough to keep her from retreating into herself. So small, even, that only two bags and a suitcase were enough to pack her life away. So small, even, that London feels like an open field to her in comparison. So small, even, that she couldn’t _think_ anymore, and had to _do_ instead.
> 
> Perhaps this is the freest she’s felt in a long time––or perhaps she never had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, this took me longer than I expected, I've had a crazy week (but, yay, Friday!), so I apologize for the brevity. However, I'm already feeling excited for longer ones.

She has been going back and forth from her folder and the clear whiteboard, as if looking at the former would help her at all. Dani has to basically scrap everything she has and plan for this term with a fresh pair of eyes. Not only that, but she also needs to figure out a way to introduce this project to her class. And, while she had already allotted time in her schedule for these sessions, this is different. It’s different, because now there needs to be a more concrete educational outcome. Something tangible she can present back to Hannah, the parents and the school board.

Hannah has given her some guidance after returning to the classroom. The specific points she needs to focus on. By the end of the term, she needs to be able to present a clear road map––beginning to end––with the steps she took, why she took them, and how it benefited the educational performance of her class. It’s different when there are more eyes looking in.

It is almost too much to handle once again, but she remembers the reassuring words everyone has uttered today, especially the ones from the woman slowly pacing around her classroom. She hasn’t heard a word from her since entering the school. When they returned, Mr. Wingrave had a brief chat with Jamie, while Hannah had one with her. She was facing Jamie’s face, so she could look at her reaction. She held a plain smile, nodded at every other sentence––and Dani swears she even looked her way at least once. After they left, though, Jamie had just been lurking around, wide-eyed and observing every little detail in the room. It seems like she needs to survey her surroundings before being able to sit still. To adjust to the very bright, very colorful room. Her boots making a distinctive thump each time she stopped at a particular spot.

She’s had her classroom ready for weeks, all meticulously placed and planned out. Group desks setups as well as individual desks all throughout. Her classroom materials and books are on the right side, along with a reading board, where students write any compelling quotes from their assigned readings. Also, a maths board that displays the main focus of each chapter as they go through the term––and as they haven’t started, it’s only filled with a reminder of order of operations on the side. Two boards in the back; one is a student photo wall, which shows each of them along with a word that is important to them, quote and mission. The other is a writing wall to exhibit the latest of her students’ creative compositions. Then, on the left side, she has a whiteboard with all of her daily reminders. The current day’s schedule, any homework information or announcements, the week at a glance, and––Dani’s favorite––the quote of the day. She usually starts her day encouraging a brief discussion about it and how it can relate to their own lives. Finally, the entrance of her classroom, covered in words. She wanted to convey an inviting and positive atmosphere to whoever was to step into her classroom, even before ever doing it, so she covered her door and put in the statement in large “when you enter this classroom…” and then “you are…” with words such as: thinkers, loved, important, explorers, and so on––and one of them left in blank to fill daily, just as her quote of the day.

“So, what _are we_ today, Miss Clayton?” That happens to be where Jamie is standing now, looking deeply at the blank space. And Dani jumps, because her eyes were _just_ on Jamie––and she couldn’t have just teleported, that’d be crazy. More likely, though, time moved without her noticing––for the second time today. She swallows.

“If I had to put a word to what we’re doing today, it’ll probably be...innovators,” she says pushing herself off her desk. _Positive attitude in the classroom_ , she repeats to herself. “Pioneers, even,” Jamie then leans her side against the door to look at her and crosses her arms, half-smile flickers over her face.

“I like the colours,” the woman starts, quickly narrowing her eyes around the room and then back to Dani, crinkles her nose, “they’re...contagious.” That same smile has not faltered. “Not that I know much, but I think you’ve done a good job with it,” and with that, Jamie props herself off and starts walking towards the desks. Smirk is still certainly there, and it’s starting to distract her.

“I’ll––I’ll” she stammers, “have to re-arrange it, though,” says a little too quickly, running a hand through her hair––flustered all of the sudden. “Gear it more towards our new goals for the semester. Also make _that_ look _colorful_.”

“So we do it,” Jamie exclaims and finally sits down, putting her legs on the desk, the same desk Mr. Wingrave sat on earlier. “Plaster innovation across the place,” even taking the same tone he had.

She takes a deep breath and scratches her forehead. And Dani has to ask, “we?”

“I’m helping you with anything you need,” she responds incredulously, as if surprised Dani doesn’t already know this, though adding with her brow furrowing, “starting right now,” for reassurance. And now it’s her turn to smile and release the breath she had been holding. She really doesn’t have to do this alone. “While I know little to nothing about what you need to plan, I can certainly provide some pointers for your technical side.”

She maintains eye contact with Jamie for a beat or two, processing her words. Still surprised by the enthusiasm shown, and she tilts her head. “Oh yeah, you have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into just now…” Dani lightly snorts.

And they talk through it, their plan of action. What the first week will look like for introducing the term and expectations. Jamie will prepare a quick demonstration to get the kids excited about learning, and there will be an official class period called Pioneering. It will focus on applying the students’ daily lessons into larger, tangible projects.

They determine the tools they will use. The students will start learning how to code with something called Scratch, a visual programming language that can help them test the waters with the concept. Jamie took her laptop out and showed Dani how to make a simple game of pong from _scratch_ ––she hums silently at the realization, and she feels Jamie’s eyes on her then. She likes its drag-and-drop and colorful presentation, sure to bring their students’ attention. Additionally, Jamie mentioned that the actual _fun_ part comes when they get to tie their code to a moving unit. They’ll be using LEGO and bring their creations to life. And for this, Jamie explains her next example.

“This one has a motor here to make it move,” she points at the bottom of the figure, propping it up, where its wheels are located, “and here to make it shoot when prompted,” pointing at the top. Jamie is standing while she explains, and Dani is sitting at one end of one of the group table setups she has. They moved from her desk as Jamie kept taking items out of her bag and could sense her getting frustrated by the lack of space. “Here––with the motor at the bottom––is also a sensor, and this is what will make it…” and Dani has to suppress a laugh, because Jamie positions herself to imitate a slingshot, eyes opening wide, “boom!” She bites the inside of her cheek now and tries to hide her smile with her hand. Jamie, Dani gathers, must like her onomatopoeia.

Jamie moves around and puts the figure at one end, and comes back to sit next to Dani. “This little guy will start rolling forward, and when it sees this blue sheet,” she takes said sheet and puts it in the middle of the desks, scrambling, “that’s what will make this motor turn off and this one turn on,” she now points from each motor to the blocks of code on the screen to show the flow. Dani looks at the figure in front of her, assimilating. And when she’s ready, she turns to Jamie, who seems to have been waiting for her to do something to move, so she nods. Jamie, Dani gathers, must like to feel understood.

Jamie starts the demo, and Dani flicks her gaze to Jamie for a second, who’s looking at the moving piece. And the latter looks so focused, anticipation for something she’s surely seen before, something she’s surely done a hundred times. However, the glint in her eyes tells Dani that no matter how many times she does this, she’ll get excited all the same. Jamie, Dani gathers, must like what she does––no, there is no irrevocable doubt that Jamie loves what she does.

She is startled out of her thoughts as a LEGO piece shoots out and goes flying to the other side of the room. She hears a faint “shit” as Jamie stands up to find it. When she returns, she chuckles. “I, uh, might have to change this bit…”

There is something in the way Jamie goes about showing this to her. The way she patiently waits for Dani to nod in understanding, wanting a cue to make sure she’s getting through her. The way she raves about how each piece of logic works, making sure she’s engaging and doesn't lose people’s attention. The way she strays from technicalities and pauses at points, searching for more familiar words to explain herself. These things, Dani thinks, and Dani hopes, make Jamie a fantastic addition to her classroom. And she already wants to thank Mr. Wingrave for basically throwing both of them into such a strange situation.

“Yeah. Parents would kill us if they found out it’s this dangerous,” Dani teases, giggling herself.

\--

They––mostly Dani––outline each learning objective on the front whiteboard, so she can actually start writing her lesson plans. Jamie has discovered that Dani’s craving for structure comes from the dire need to visualize the bigger picture. It seems to be her method to chunk down information. The intricacies of each step, the color-coding on each side of the room, the words she chooses––all with carefully crafted intent. Jamie is almost the opposite of that. While she likes organization, she most certainly doesn’t seek it. She doesn't mind if things don’t go according to plan. Her whole life has not gone according to plan, but she’s still herself. As long as, in the end, she doesn’t lose that, she doesn’t mind uncertainty. Nonetheless, that might be a hard outlook to have as a teacher. Dani’s craving for structure might explain her strong response when there is none. And, thankfully, she can see she’s coming back to herself.

Dani is being so detailed that there isn’t enough room for every item she wants to cover. So Jamie has been taking pictures of each filled board to revisit later. And, while Jamie will help her through most of it, there are still aspects of the program that are out of scope for her. Fortunately, that seems to be okay, as Dani has already mentioned she has enough experience from her time back home.

“Iowa. Looks a bit like here, but it’s almost completely flat, and everything is much farther away from each other.” Her board is empty now, so she draws a dot. “Say my hometown is right here,” Jamie is now standing by Dani’s desk, arms crossed and observant. Close, but giving her enough space as she moves all the way across the board to draw another dot, “here’s the nearest city. And almost everything in-between is nothing––even smaller towns or acres of pasture land…” She pauses, contemplating point A and point B, focusing on the in-between. “It can take hours to get out of.”

Her voice wavers, and it’s not from the way she’s chuckling, Jamie suspects. She exhales the words out before she can stop herself: “Was it easy to get out?”

This catches Dani off guard, fully turning around to face her. And Jamie thinks maybe she said it too fast, her accent thick with curiosity. But by the way Dani is looking at her right now––wide-eyed and hesitant––she definitely understood.

Jamie can be blunt, and she wishes it didn’t come out as harsh. Especially because she never means to impose on anyone. She likes to know all the facts, she likes to know the reasoning behind people’s actions, she likes to understand. But she also respects why others are not so forward––especially when she never reciprocates as others poke at her. It’s gotten her into––but also out of––trouble in the past. And she wishes she knew when to dial back or when to dive in. But she doesn’t think she’s ought to get those answers.

Dani clicks her tongue and Jamie can see, no matter how subtle, the slight shake of her head that disconnects their gaze. She leans against the board, pressing her lips together in thought, and Jamie waits for her to come back. And when Dani’s eyes find hers again, they’re searching for something, intently. So she swallows, thinks she’s lost her, ready for that switch she’s seen before, but it never comes. “Logistically, yes.”

And they don’t get into too many details, Jamie is patient with every bit she’s given. But she does have to get one thing out of the way: “Plenty of cities in America. Why here? Why so far?”

“Why not?” She shrugs nonchalantly, quick. Not a question at all. “Go big or go home, right?” A contradiction to what she’s already learned about Dani. Someone who leans on premeditation. Someone who puts so much thought into everything she does. Someone who may spend hours upon hours racking her brain until she’s found the right shape, the right word, the right position. To give up the life she had on a whim––in America, at that. To deal with uncertainty oceans away. She finds it odd for someone like Dani to pack up and leave everything behind like that to start over. Because...

“You couldn’t teach for a while though, could you?”

“No,” and, albeit short, Jamie can hear her voice waver.

Because…

“You didn’t have anyone here either?”

“No,” probably noticing, she clears her throat as she answers.

But, really, what Jamie means to ask is...

“Didn’t you feel...stuck?”

And it’s the: “Well, there are worse places to be stuck, believe me,” response that clicks. It’s the sad smile that follows that finally clicks.

She’s looked at America before. It’s massive. With how big that country is, she reckons something traumatic must have happened to Dani that made it suffocating and small. So small, even, she now understands why she talks about far distances and big cities the way she does––no distance was far enough and no space was big enough to keep her from retreating into herself. So small, even, that only two bags and a suitcase were enough to pack her life away. So small, even, that London feels like an open field to her in comparison. So small, even, that she couldn’t _think_ anymore, and had to _do_ instead.

Perhaps this is the freest she’s felt in a long time––or perhaps she never had.

\--

She could go on for hours. She could go on as long as it’s needed to finish all that she needs in one go. But she can’t do that to Jamie––especially if she wants to keep her helping hand around. She doesn’t need to burn herself out before even starting. So she lets Jamie go by what would be a little after class dismissal time. Tells her to meet at the same time to continue their planning. They have at least a couple of more days before her students officially return.

“Can I have your number?” Jamie asks while scratching her forehead as she takes her phone out of her coat pocket.

Dani freezes.

“Excuse me?” Tone a little higher than she intends.

“To send you the pictures of your brainstorming session…” She says very matter-of-fact, and Dani curses at herself. And then, Jamie adds, Dani sensing her grin, almost smug, “and for you to boss me around with schoolwork whenever it suits, of course.”

Of course.

“Yeah,” Dani exhales and takes the phone. Sends herself a message to add Jamie’s number later. “Here…”

Jamie takes her phone back and squints her eyes at Dani, possibly sensing how she has tensed all of the sudden. “I know I’ve told you this already––but you’re doing great.” Her face tilts to the other side. “I admire your hard work, and I’m so excited to start this journey, Dani Clayton.” And Dani knows it’s honest. She lets herself just take it, smiling in response.

“As am I, Jamie Taylor.”

As she locks her classroom, her eyes slip down to an unfamiliar glint at the bottom of the door. She kneels down to look at it closely. The “you are…” blank space at the bottom has been filled. The blank space at the bottom has now been filled with the word, neat, albeit the rough edges, _“trailblazers.”_ and Dani laughs to herself as she walks away to her car.

\--

When she gets home, Dani finally takes out her phone and saves Jamie’s phone number, pictures already sent her way. She looks at them later while she walks around her apartment and starts taking out the ingredients for the meal she’s preparing. And, because she can’t stop thinking, she eventually gets an idea in the middle of frying her chicken and has the urge to call Jamie. She doesn’t even look at the time when she calls. Jamie responds almost immediately.

“Do your gears ever stop turning?” Her voice teases, and she can also hear her grinning, smug like before.

She’s silent for a beat or two, though, because the idea hasn’t even made it past her first phase. Just one sole word in her stream of consciousness. She hasn’t put it into a sentence anyone can remotely understand. But she has to try, because...

“Dani?”

“What if we share the projects?” She breathes out. No, that’s not clear enough.

“Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do at the end of term?”

“I mean…” She closes her eyes, finally finding the right words, “find a big competition––show what the students make to even more people.”

“I think…” Jamie pauses, and Dani can feel Jamie’s own gears turning through the phone, “I think that’s a great idea. Competition could motivate them to get even more involved. And it can inspire them to do their best––not just what’s good enough.” Dani feels a sense of pride at the validation. “And you definitely want them to do their best, don’t you?” Yes, she does.

“Thank you, for humoring me...” and her eyes land on the kitchen clock, looking at the time, almost embarrassed now, she swallows, “at 10pm.” She hears a laugh at the other end of the line, possibly perceiving the scene.

“Anytime.” She finally responds. And, before hanging up she adds, without waiting for Dani’s response, “reckon you saw the note I left?”

She lets herself believe it, because, yes, they can be trailblazers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and lending some of your time. If you are enthralled as much as I am to explore this--welcome! I'll be updating this at least once a week (fingers crossed)
> 
> Chapter title comes from: Labi Siffre - Watch Me
> 
> Fic title comes from one of my favorite songs of all time: Harrison Storm - Change It All


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